kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
