She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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