Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
