super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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