Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
