Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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