help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
