I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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