hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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