She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
