redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
