i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She's like a pop up book from hell.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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