Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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