Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
