Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
