I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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