i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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