Nicole vs. Life
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My bed smells like the plague
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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