when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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