I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
