Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
