If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
