She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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