North Korea, Best Korea!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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