You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
