You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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