What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
