i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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