I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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