he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
