she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
