in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
