I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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