I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
