im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
