Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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