If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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