'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
never play flip cup with pint glasses
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
