Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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