I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
