actually, I'm a sock model
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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