Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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