pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
