Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
