While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
