I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
