So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
