i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
