I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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