Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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